


for him.

by dannyyisme



Category: I Don't Know How But They Found Me (Band), Panic! at the Disco, for him - Troye Sivan (Song), idkhbtfm - Fandom, troye sivan - Fandom
Genre: Based On a Troye Sivan Song, Brendon is pastel, Dallon is a punk, Fluff, M/M, Making Out, Pastel!Brendon, Punk!Dallon, Troye Sivan References
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-22
Updated: 2018-06-22
Packaged: 2019-05-27 02:18:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,075
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15014495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dannyyisme/pseuds/dannyyisme
Summary: all i need is you...(written in low caps on purpose for aesthetic purposes)





	for him.

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on my Wattpad of the same name! <3

_We are runnin' so fast_

_And we never look back_

_And whatever I lack, you make up_

_We make a really good team_

_And not everyone sees_

_We got this crazy chemistry_

_Between us_

**

when i walk into my dorm for the first time, i notice that half of the room is already filled with shit that belongs to my roommate.

i can tell he's one of those punk rock people because there are green day posters, blink-182 posters, and other rock band posters that make me a little wary at first. from my own experience, guys like this aren't the nicest.

i set my bags on my bed that is currently empty and take a seat next to it on the pillow letting out a soft huff as i do it.

i only brought two big duffel bags to save my parents the trouble, but now that i'm looking around the room, i'm starting to second-guess myself and my decision.

"yo," a deep, yet light voice greets making me jump and snap my head over to the door finding a man in a black leather jacket, tight black jeans, black converse, and 20mm gages in his ears that make my heart flutter a little.

"h-hey," i greet back with a nervous laugh. if i had longer hair, i'd be twirling it. "y-you my roommate?" he grins a little bit.

"looks like it." i giggle nervously and run my fingers through my hair biting on my lip a little as i watch this beautiful man watch me back with his thumbs hooked in his belt loops.

"i'm dallon," he greets slowly walking over to me and leaving the door wide open. he offers his hand out to me, and i take it gratefully.

"brendon," i answer with a really big grin. "i-it's nice to meet you." he grins at me again and gives my hand a gentle squeeze making my guts get flutters. i let go of his hand, and he quickly walks over to the door to shut it leaving us completely alone in the room. he returns to me.

"cute name," he tells me making me start to giggle again. i feel embarrassed for a moment, but ignore it as i watch dallon's beautiful blue eyes crinkle up a little as he smiles.

"th-thank you," i stutter with a giggle crossing my left leg over my right. "parents chose it." he chuckles, putting his thumbs back in his belt loops, and watches me with a slightly tilted head.

"what year are you in?" he inquires making my brain scramble for a little bit.

"th-this is my first year here," i answer with a nervous giggle. i start to feel stupid for how much i'm giggling, but it's something i do when i'm nervous. "y-you?"

"this is my third year here," he answers making my eyes widen a little. damn, he's older, but he looks young for his age.

"how old are you?" i find myself asking without realizing. my cheeks flush, and i let out a nervous giggle. "s-sorry, that was rude-"

"no, it's fine!" he answers with a soft laugh. "i'm 26." my eyes are so wide that i'm sure i look like a fucking idiot.

"when did you start college?" i ask sounding dumbfounded. he gives me a confused look.

"...three years ago," he says slowly making me blink and flush harshly. "had to save up a lot of money to be able to come on my own."

"o-oh!" i exclaim with a nervous giggle. "s-sorry, i-i-"

"no, it's chill!" he responds with a soft grin. "it's always a shock to people when i tell them my age."

we're silent now, it a little deafening for me, and i duck my head downwards to look at my soft pink shorts that end at my knees taking a mental note to be extra careful with all my feminine-like clothing this time around so that i don't have to deal with the same shit i did last time.

"hey," dallon starts making my head snap up to look at my roommate with confused eyes. "how old are you?"

"20," i answer running my fingers through my shaggy hair that desperately needs to be cut. he laughs a little.

"you're six years younger than me." i laugh nervously.

"i-i am," i answer chewing on my lip a little. "i-is that a problem?" he watches me for a moment, then shakes his head slowly with a soft grin tugging on his lips.

"no," he answers. "no it's not."

\--

_Jump starting your car 'cause this city's a bore_

_Buying e-cigarettes at the convenience store_

_Making new clichés on our own little tour_

_Let's ride_

**

when i first see his motorcycle, my heart skips a beat. it's a beautiful black model with shiny silver handles, side mirror, and looks like it's been polished recently.

there's a black helmet sitting on one of the handlebars, and i notice there's a red sparkly 'D' on the back of it-- the letter, not the appendage.

"you like it?" he asks sounding a bit amused. i nod, my cheeks flushed.

i watch him straddle the bike and offer me the helmet, my eyes wide. "wh-"

"want a ride?" he asks me making every part of me scream "yes yes yes!"

"s-sure!" i respond a little breathlessly. i accept his helmet and clip it on my head sliding on the bike behind him suddenly being reminded of grease 2. i'm the girl in this situation, except i know who my guy is the whole time.

"hang on tight," he tells me after i settle in the seat. i let out a nervous laugh and wrap my arms around his middle tightly pressing myself against his back to make sure that i'm safe.

he revs up his motorcycle making my blood start pumping faster, and we go rushing down the street leaving the dorms behind.

the people behind us are annoyed at the sound of the motorcycle, but i'm too enthralled at the rush of the bike to care.

"you smoke?" he calls back to me as he drives. i hesitate a bit.

"y-yeah!" i say, though i don't even convince myself. "trying to stop, though!" i just barely hear him chuckle, and he stops his bike at a red light. my grip around dallon's waist tightens, and i bite my lip a little feeling a little overwhelmed from everything around me, but it's an amazing feeling for once.

"you know i don't believe you, right?" he says right before he takes off down the road again. i laugh, nervous and confused, and don't say anything back.

we pull over at a place that sells vapes, and i have to hold back my soft snort once i realize why we're here. i didn't know he vapes.

"i didn't know you vape," i say as he gets off the motorcycle, me following and pulling off the helmet just now noticing that he's not wearing a helmet. figures since there was only one. he grins at me and pulls an empty black vape out of his jacket pocket.

"i do," he answers me putting it between his lips and holding it there as he kicks out the foot for the bike chaining it to the side of the metal bar nearby for extra safety. i've never seen someone do that since you'd usually need keys to get a motorcycle running, but alright.

we walk into the store, and i'm overwhelmed with the smell of fruits, weed, and other things from all the vape juice containers that are surrounding me along with the vapes themselves. "mornin'," a southern-sounding man greets us; dallon nods at him, and i offer him a nervous smile since i've never been here before.

"you want a vape?" dallon asks me as we walk down the aisles looking at various vape pens. i'm caught off-guard for a moment.

"s-sure!" i squeak picking out a pink vape pen that's see-through. i nervously fiddle with it in my hands, and he chuckles at me leading me over to the flavoured vapors.

the vape feels weird in my hands-- heavy, wrong, but so right. i glance up at this boy who is all of the above, and he has this partial smirk on his lips that makes my heart flutter like a butterfly's wings.

_i think i'm in love._

_\--_

_You don't have to say I love you to say I love you_

_Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons_

_We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue_

_Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money_

_All I need is you_

_All I need is you, you_

**

when i wake up early in the morning, dallon is the first thing on my mind.  i'm lucky i scored his number the last time i saw him, but we haven't really spoken since other than the occasional question of wanting to go on a ride on his bike.

i savor those moments like a homeless person with fast food.

_"u up?"_ i text him grabbing my vape pen and taking a soft toke of it loving the taste of chocolate coating my tongue and my lungs, then blowing it out making my room smell of chocolate. he spends nights at his friend's house instead of sleeping here. i don't blame him, it's not that fun here.

but i secretly snoop at his stuff when he's out.

_"_ _yeh_ _"_ i get a text back making a small smile form on my lips. _"u want a ride?"_ i think for a moment, chewing a little on the tip of my pen, then take another, deeper toke.

_"were do u want 2 go?"_ i wait for a bit, holding the vapor in my lungs, and let it out slowly as i read dallon's response;

_"anywhere as long as_ _im_ _with u"_

we end up driving to a park. i have my own helmet now, but i still wear dallon's because it makes me feel safer. in fact, it's basically mine now since i keep it with me, and he always puts it on my head securing it under my chin. it always makes my tummy flutter happily.

when he pulls over, i notice that he doesn't get off the bike right away like he usually does. instead he turns to me, lifting the visor of the helmet, then doing the same for mine allowing us to look each other in the eyes. _his beautiful blue eyes..._

"i need to talk to you about something," he tells me slowly, thoughts swimming in his eyes, and a nervous smile playing on his lips. "something important."

"what is it?" i ask with a nervous laugh. "i-is it something bad?" he lets out a soft laugh that's a little nervous, something I'm not used to hearing from him, and shakes his head chewing on his bottom lip as his eyes flickering over my face while he thinks.

"i was just... wondering what you think of us," he whispers. my eyes are wide and confused.

"wh-what do you mean?" i inquire sounding just as nervous as i feel. _does he not want to hang out anymore?_ "i-is everything okay?" he nods and sticks his hand in his pocket pulling out his vape pen revealing the black plastic to me.

"y-yeah," he answers before taking a hit of his vape and blowing the smoke out at me; i immediately breathe in the smoke, catching myself off-guard, and i watch as dallon watches me with amused eyes. "everything's fine."

"what do you mean, then?" i ask. he gives me a nervous smile.

"nothin'," he says, though i don't believe him. "come on, let's go chill under the trees or something." i nod, then get off the bike with him.

\--

_We try staying up late_

_But we both are light weights_

_Yeah we get off our face, too easy_

_And we take jokes way too far_

_And sometimes_ _living's_ _too hard_

_We're like two halves of one heart_

_We are, we are, we are_

**

when we get home from the park, i mention the fact that i have wine coolers in the fridge at home. he's surprised, people always are, and asks me, "you drink?"

"out of rebellion," i tease making him laugh as i unlock my door and open it letting us inside. "siblings buy it for me. they're all married and having kids. i've got a beautiful niece.

"you want to see pictures?" i'm rambling now as we walk around in our dorm. dallon laughs softly, catching my attention, and nods making my cheeks flush a little.

i grab my phone out of my pocket from my baby blue shorts and look through my photo albums for pictures of my baby niece. i keep glancing over at dallon, and he's watching me with this look in his eyes that i can't put my finger on.

"this is her at her sixth birthday party," i say showing him my phone. he doesn't look at it at first. i laugh nervously when he moves his eyes to my phone, and i scroll to a picture of my niece with her teddy bear that i bought for her for christmas.

"she's cute," he notes with a soft smile. his eyes shift back to me, and there's something still hidden in those beautiful blues. "you want to drink some wine coolers?"

"s-sure!" i say with a nervous laugh. i'm such a lightweight; i hope i don't do anything embarrassing.

two wine coolers down, and my brain is already fuzzy from the alcohol. i'm giggling, but I'm not in control of my body anymore. i'm hoping to every god out there that i don't end up kissing this really cute guy that happens to  be my roommate.

"you-" dallon starts, hiccuping a little. he's drunk too. "you-you are really fucking cute, y'know?" i blush.

"yeah," i answer with a soft hiccup. "i-i knew." his grin is sloppy, and he leans closer to me as we sit cross-legged on our carpeted floor.

"kiss me?" i hesitate.

"y'sure?" i ask resting my hands on either of his shoulders. at least i think i do. "we both had'a lot'a drink." he nods slowly, his eyes hooding and slowly widening again back to their natural state.

"m'sure," he slurs grabbing onto the sides of my face a little roughly. "'wanted to kiss you for so long."

"...really?" i inquire sobering up a little. i feel a little shy, but a little confident from all the alcohol. i say that like i had a lot, but i really didn't. my eyes flicker to his lips, and his lips are parted a little like he's about to say something.

he doesn't.

i kiss him softly-- at least, i think i do, and let our lips sit against each other for a hot minute before anything really happens for me with my foggy brain. my fingers slowly fist dallon's shirt, and his hands slowly move to my hair gently playing with it making a soft, content sigh leave my lips as we kiss.

_i know i'll regret this when i sober up, but i'm loving this right now while i can._

\--

_You don't have to say I love you to say I love you_

_Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons_

_We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue_

_Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money_

_All I need is you_

_All I need is you, you_

_**_

when we wake up in the morning, i notice that dallon is holding me close to his chest. i'm a little nervous about this, my head throbbing a little, but the smell of dallon is soothing the ache and making me feel so much better.

i nuzzle my face into his clothed chest and gently fist the fabric feeling the harder words of his shirt on my skin scratching it a little. i can't stop the small smile forming on my lips as i remember our kiss last night.

i feel dallon stir a little, a soft sigh escaping his lips, and i tense a little bit unsure of how he's going to react to us cuddling with my face buried in his chest.

i expect him to shove me off, but he doesn't. instead, i feel him start to run his fingers through my hair and start playing with it making my muscles relax almost instantly. i feel a small smile itch on my lips, and my eyes flutter shut again.

"i know you're awake," dallon says making me tense a little again. he gently kisses my head and whispers, "i'm not upset that we're cuddling." i relax again.

"you sure?" i inquire a little shy. "i-i don't want to be... you know..."

"you're fine," he reassures me with a soft laugh. my face burns, and i bury it more into his shirt feeling engulfed in the other's smell making me feel even more protected than his long arms around me that seem to tighten whenever i allow myself to be completely engulfed by him, his soul, his smell, and everything about him.

_there's no place i'd rather be than here with him._

"you hungry?" he asks me catching me a little off-guard.

"mmhm," i answer slowly letting go of his shirt. my eyes flutter open, and i slowly turn my gaze up to him; his blue eyes are watching me carefully, and there's that secret thing in his look again that is now spread all over his face that i can't identify.

"what do you want to eat?" he asks me, his tone soft, gentle, and something else that i'm still trying to figure out what the fuck it is. it starts to eat away at me, but i ignore it for now. that's a question for later.

"what do we have?" i ask knowing damn well that our mini fridge just has wine coolers and other drinks in it. he gives me a lopsided grin and gently kisses my nose making my cheeks burn.

"let's go out to eat," he decides slowly starting to sit up, me sliding off of him to allow him room to sit up.

"o-okay," i say getting up as well with a nervous giggle. "where are we going?"

"ihop," dallon says like it's obvious. "did you know they're actually changing it to ihob for a while? because they have burgers now?" i scrunch up my nose, then return my face to neutral.

"if they want to do that," i start walking over to my dresser, "then all power to them." he laughs softly at me, and i blush again.

"cute," he comments making my blush deepen.

_i'm cute?_

_\--_

_Eat a pill stay and chill, you don't need to go_

_I'm about to bring emo back if you leave my home_

_I'd panic at the disco and you'd rather watch a TV show_

_Then I'll squeeze your booty real hard like I'm kneading dough_

_Pizza boy, I'm speeding for ya_

_We can get married tonight if you really wanna_

_Me in a cheap suit like a sleazy lawyer_

_And if you break this lil' heart, it'd be an honor_

**

"can i talk to you?" i ask randomly one night-- one of the few nights dallon stays at the dorms with me. "it... i-it's really important."

"sure," he tells me as we both lie in our respective beds. his head turns to me, and our eyes meet. "what's up?"

i chew on my lip, nervously, and slowly start to fist my sheets as i lie on my side. i keep thinking about what i want to say, but nothing good comes out of my jumbled thoughts. so, instead, i say, "what are we?"

i catch him off-guard at my question-- i can tell from how he blinks quickly a couple times, and he lets out a soft chuckle.

"what do you want us to be?" he inquires, his tone vague, but i can tell there's a mysterious hint of something that has just been bugging me about his tone and words that just make me itch to ask him why the fuck he talks to me like that because I can't understand it, but i don't. instead, i just blink at him and slowly get up from my bed, my socks brushing against the carpet, and my bare torso feels a little bit of a chill from not being covered with my blanket anymore.

i slowly pad over to dallon's bed and motion for him to move over to give space for me. he does as i ask without questioning it; i'm thankful for him in that moment.

i crawl into his bed and allow myself to be pressed against him as there's not that much room for two grown men in this twin-sized bed-- especially one that is over 6 feet tall, but we just manage to fit with one of my legs wrapped around his hip and my arms locked around his neck allowing me to take up the least amount of room that i could. not like i mind being in this position with dallon, though, but it's a bit dangerous considering we're rooming right next to the RA.

"are you going to answer my question?" he inquires, and, fuck, i lose my breath because now he's whispering to me and only me. i feel so many feelings all at once, and i can't believe it, but i kiss him right then and there forgetting that we aren't dating, but we just fucking might be now.

he kisses me back immediately, and his arms wrap around my middle keeping a firm grip on me that sends all my emotions into hyper-drive. all i can think about is _him him him_ , and i wouldn't have it any other way.

our lips move together slowly, and i feel his lip brush against my bottom lip. i shiver a little and open my mouth inviting his tongue in, which he takes my offer with gusto exploring my mouth like Lewis and Clark in the new world.

_i'm happy to have him with me, and i'm more than happy to allow him to explore me like a fucking atlas._

\--

_You don't have to say I love you to say I love you_

_Forget all the shooting stars and all the silver moons_

_We've been making shades of purple out of red and blue_

_Sickeningly sweet like honey, don't need money_

_All I need is you_

_All I need is you, you_

_**_

when we wake up in the morning, bare, i notice that our legs and fingers are intertwined as we cuddle post coital. i know that i have a class early this morning at about 9:30, but i can't seem to be able to move away from this beautiful man that was willing to love me for me-- at least i think he loves me.

sex can mean many things, but i just hope that it wasn't a one-time thing that will become awkward between us. i'm sure we had a connection last night. it wasn't just me... was it?

"you okay?" a sleepy voice asks me bringing me out of my thoughts. i turn up to dallon who is watching me with tired blue eyes that are slightly glazed over from his exhaustion. i instantly feel warm inside as we gaze into each other's eyes, and i nearly forget to reply.

"y-yeah," i answer. "i-i'm fine. now." a soft smile ghosts on his lips, and our lips connect briefly for a moment creating beautiful butterflies in my guts that give me a sudden burst of energy to go on through the day.

"are we boyfriends now?" i ask, shyly, with a nervous smile. his eyes are soft.

"you want to be?" he asks me brushing my hair out of my face with gentle fingers. "because that sounds really fucking good to me." even though he's whispering to me, i can hear every bit of emotion that is dripping from his beautiful words that reach my ears like soft love songs that are written from the heart about soulmates.

lovers with a forever timestamp.

i nod quickly, laughing softly-- almost out of disbelief. we kiss again, and he cups my face.

 i finally figure out what was in his eyes all along.

_it was love._

**End.**


End file.
